Dear Strong Sam Beer,

	I am writing this letter to express my appreciation for the 
dedication your company shows to your customers.  I'm sure ours is a 
typical example.  My wife and I were visiting relatives in Northwest 
Ohio when we were introduced to your fine product.  My brother-in-law 
gave me a six pack of Strong Sam Mark One as a going away present.  I 
would like to emphasize the fact that he gave it to me and did not sell 
it to me, for THE BUYING AND SELLING OF STRONG SAM BEER IS STRICTLY 
ILLEGAL.  
	When we came back to our hometown of Ida Falls, Minnesota, we 
each enjoyed a bottle of your product.  While relishing the beverage, I 
noticed your 1-800 number on the back of the bottle.  It said that if 
for any reason I wasn't completely satisfied while drinking your product, 
to call the number and those at Strong Sam would do their utmost to accomodate me.  
While I didn't have a problem with the exquisite smoothness of the porter, 
I did feel that I would never be completely satisfied unless I were enjoying 
the beer in an 89-room mansion bought with the proceeds of my wife's million 
dollar life insurance policy.  I explained this to Phil, the Strong Sam 
representative, and he said that he would take care of it.  Sure enough, when 
I woke up the next morning, our bed was soaked in blood and my wife's lifeless 
body was lying decapitated next to me.  I am dictating this letter to one of my 
twenty servants who wait on me hand and foot while I relish another of your 
fine brews in my veranda overlooking my own lake.  Thank you Strong Sam!

Yours sincerely,

Michael Waitaminute



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Dear Strong Sam Beer,

	I would just like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for 
saving my baby sister's life.  My fantastic story is no doubt typical 
of the letters you receive, but I feel compelled to write nonetheless, 
so that I may express my gratitude in a small way.  
	It all started when Suzie and I were in our backyard playing a 
friendly game of croquet to amuse our neighbors.  Suddenly Suze doubled 
over complaining of pains in her abdomen.  I called for help, and our 
neighbor, Dr. Quetzal ran over to assist us.  Upon examination, the doctor 
declared that Suze had been stricken by a rare bacteria which was eating 
away at her pancreas, and she had less than two hours to live.  Then I 
remembered reading somewhere that "no known pathogen can survive in Strong 
Sam Beer".  So I took an eyedropperfull of your Strong Sam Tough Love and 
gave it to Suzie to sip.  She immediately sprang back to life, healthier 
than I have ever seen her.  She has never been sick since.  Thank you Strong Sam!

Very truly yours,

Al Grommet

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Dear Strong Sam Beer, 

	With your beer,  I learned the ultimate truths of man and myself. And the truth does
make you free. And with that freedom has come a joy I have never known before. It is
a happiness that spills over into the lives of everyone I touch. As if I am so rich in
happiness I have plenty left over to give. I have seen with clarity beyond the cycle of life and
death, and risen to an immense vista of freedom where such things as friendships,
affections and my personal identity can last beyond one life. To say my future looks
exceedingly bright is an understatement. I am a free being! 

                    S.H.
                    OT  Beer Levels

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Dear Strong Sam Beer,

	When I first heard about your beer, I was outraged.  My name is Sam, and I was taken
aback at having some mere homebrewer use my name without permission.  And I was sure that
your beer could not possibly be as good as my favorite beer - Sam Adams.  But when I was
given a taste of it (and remember, I was given, not sold, the beer) I was dumbfounded.  It
makes Sam Adams taste like Budweiser!  This is really the best beer I have ever tasted in
my life!

			Sam Featherstone
			The Forum Corporation

			(Actual testimonial by actual person,
			 paraphrased to fit this format)